Hi Guys, Started with this article on Saturday morning … my mind was completely fresh after a nice resting & sound sleep it was indeed a happy beginning of two days weekend…
While surfing on internet (my usual pass time on weekends) I came across a amazing story on yahoo…. A success story of world’s most well known institution, “ Marriage ”
Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher have been married for 87 years. They lived together through the Great Depression, World War II, the Korean War, Cuban Missile Crisis, and Vietnam. They saw the moon landing and their story is sweet and enduring and lovely. But it isn’t romantic.
When asked why they decided to marry, it was because Zelmyra “did not give [Herbert] any trouble” and Herbert “was not much to look at … [but] he was quiet and kind.” The Fishers were married on May 13, 1924 and are now 105 and 103.
Not what you would expect, right? And yet it is.
Marriage is wonderful, rich, and so very important, but at times, it isn’t romantic. It’s a partnership and a team, and it can be the best thing in the world, but if you want constant dazzling, then maybe you’re looking at the wrong things.
Though not mostly observed worldwide, but it in India we could divide marriages into 2 main categories, Love & Arrange marriages. Lets not get into the argument of which one is more stable & advisable because each one has it’s own pros and cons. But the main motive for both of them is to look forward for life long companionship of 2 individuals whose origins, life, education, thinking, economical status, likes & dislikes could be similar or might be completely diverse from each other.But by marriage they come together for life so, as to start an altogether new journey to end up deeply loving each other…
I have a habbit of observing all the things and people around me, with an invisible magnifying glass which is fitted forever on my eyes… :). Well jokes apart, what I mean is observe people around me. From my observations, the best example of “ Together till death make us apart ” kind of love, would be none other than my own parents.
They were married at the age of 33(Mother) & 36(father) though the marriage was quite a late age one as per Indian traditions, but what I would say is it was a “ Matured Relation ” . In which both the individuals were well settled in their career, were earning enough so, that they could support their own families and lead a respectable life. Often, its not the loss of interest/ love being the reason for failure of a matrimony but it is, lack of respect for each others that soon leads to broken relationships.
For a successful marriage, “ Wife needs to love her husband (as a mother loves her child) and Man needs to have respect (true to the meaning of word) for his wife ” Only then it would termed as relationship made in heaven isn’t it ?
Recently I attended one my cousin’s marriage ceremony they both were grown ups too. Both of them were having strong educational background, both having pretty high (approx 5 figures monthly income), working for giant MNC’s , both visited & worked abroad many a times. I must say both matched each other’s height, status, personality perfectly. I overheard people saying “ Made for each other ” . Offcourse I was happy for them, but somewhere I myself feel that people think & support for marriage between only those who match each other’s status, education & looks ??? :(. Are only these many things enough to fall in love with someone & accept them as “ Life Partner ”. Does thoughts, likes, dislikes, dreams do not have any importance ???
The one which I attended, was a love marriage so both them, after thinking for while must have decided to get into a relationship (atleast I think so 😉 ). But incase of arranged marriage where in several unnecessary factors gain loads of importance. The things begin with matching horscopes, people give so much importance to stars & planet miles and miles away from us, but no importance to the feelings of people who just next to us 😦 . It’s tragic, to see that several relationships which might be suitable in every aspect but could not see the reality of life, thanks to unmatching horoscopes … :(. I really feel very sad when people consider the stars & planets so very far off from us the as key players in success of a matrimony. I am not criticizing the long run tradition of matching horoscopes before marriages but giving undue importance to these facts & neglecting the rest of the compatibility is certainly not something wise according to me.
Few years back, I came across a broken relationship, in case of one of my friend’s sibling. Supriya (name changed for the sack of privacy) was charming young girl of 24 years. She was well educated & worked with ICICI bank as software engineering. She had 2 sister’s, father who was goverment employee & mother who was house wife. On parent’s insisting Supriya added her profile on shaadi.com (matrimonial website). Her profile was a perfect one, since had proper education, charming looks she received frequent matching profiles request. Soon her parents found a profile of boy from their own caste, who was C.A working in a MNC, earning a fat 5 figures monthly salary. Seemed to be from cultured family. Supriya’s parents were quite happy to see him as there would be son-in-law. They matched horoscope, and were much happy to learn that horoscopes matched perfectly. Father arranged a lavish wedding for his elder daughter. Spent almost 1/3rd of his life’s saving for the ceremony, everyone was happy to see perfectly matched couple and wanted to see a successful “ arranged marraige ”
Even after being considered a most world wise decision of marriage, it could not last for even for 2 months ???…So much money spent, so many people involved, so many emotions, so many dreams shattered in just 2 months… 😦 if this was the fate, then how come horoscopes considered them as a match.. 😦 ????
Girl returned to her father’s home with severe mental depression in a critical psycological condition. They ended blaming each other for arrogant attitude, greed for money, physical & mental torture.. & ending things bitterly for life time.
Till late 90’s divorce cases were not so very common in India as in countries abroad but nowdays people get married in the morning, by afternoon they find each other incompatible, by evening they file a divorce & by night they find some one else. I know I am exaggerating, but this would soon be reality if the steep rise in divorce cases go on @ this rate. 😦
To reduce monetary losses due to divorce for husband’s world wide, now there is a legal doc called “prenuptual agreement” which husband & wife sign before there marriage, so as agree on monetary terms to by given by a man to his wife in case of a divorce. What a disgust isn’t it ??… It is something like selecting deisgn for your death certificate when registering for your birth certificate. Death though is a natural process & can’t be avoided but are divorces so very predictable & necessary ??..
Let’s not end up on negative note, still there are people who believe in love, and life commitment. I consider my parents as the best example of successful matrimony, You may consider yours too 😉 .
I sincerely hope & believe that for the success of a matrimony both them must try to understand each other & have due respect for others privacy, work & dreams only then their relationship could be termed as the one made in heaven by almighty :).
Hope that all of you find our soul mates soon.. 🙂
To conclude with:
“ Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together. We are individuals, but accomplish more together. Remember marriage is not a contest — never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win. ”